The fact that I didn’t learn to walk until the age of 2 did not stop me from moving forward. I developed a sort of jumping-on-my-butt technique, much to the amusement of others. At school, I was always trying reach perfection. It was easy for others and myself to be proud of my accomplishments because I just figured out what was expected of me and worked accordingly. “As long as you always do your best, you have nothing to be disappointed in.” At the age of 22, I hit the wall.
Always knowing I was called to lead, I looked up to plenty of powerful women who shared their success stories, women who, despite their gender, gained the position and respect they wanted – and deserved. Many of them lifestyle coaches just like I eventually became. But at 22, I had to question everything. Have you noticed how the majority of the world’s most powerful women resemble male leaders in their ways and gestures? Question: Is it only women who already have masculine traits who make it, or do you have to forcefully develop masculinity if you want to be seen as a “real” leader?
When Pinky created WiNE and WiNG, her two networking groups, she wanted to hold space for women to support one another in a way that she herself really needed at that point. In this amazingly empowering space, we are also encouraged to find the balance between the masculine and feminine leader that we all have within us. She says that emotional intelligence is about being self-aware of the emotions you might have or what someone else is presenting with, which means you can adapt to the leader you want to be. I find that such a liberating and accepting thought. Whenever I meet Pinky, there is indeed both structure and empathy in her energies.
“I think there needs to be an element of openness and honesty, empathy, collaboration and sharing for a successful leader. Success for me, is learning from failure, persistence, consistency and lifting people up.”
When she works with clients, whether it is through 1:1 or group coaching, or in her transformational workshops, she initially finds out what you want; because if you focus on what you do not want, this is what you attract. I can testify that Pinky works with a winner’s mindset for her clients, one that will transform old stories and limiting beliefs that one might be repeating to oneself, which ultimately holds you back and stops you from playing big. Again, we can be the leaders we truly are, and we can still be equally successful.
Hands up if you can relate to any of the attitudes in the picture at the top of this blog post! These limiting beliefs are just some of the mental clutter I have, myself, worked hard to remove. I had to – both for my personal and professional life. They are founded on the masculine structures of our achievement-focused society and are the primary reasons my clients are paralysed from their perfectionism, why they never feel “done”, why they cannot ask for help and instead take upon them the responsibility of other peoples’ issues as well, proving to the world that they have it all together. But nagging thoughts keep them up at night: “What-if-I-had-done-it-that-way-instead?” I love showing my clients how to balance the masculinity and femininity within them.
Like Pinky, I focus on how my women want to feel and what experiences they want in life. From there, however, I treat mental clutter like physical clutter that needs to be acknowledged and removed. As we pile it all up, we discover where it is “stuck” and clogs their minds. Along with hardcore mindset training, healthier routines and habits are created, which spirals into the women becoming great gatekeepers to their own lives so that the transformational results persist. At the end, there is a woman with a peace of mind, who knows who she is in this world and where she is going. Who has the confidence and energy to do precisely that.
I wish I had grown up being encouraged to embrace both masculine and feminine structures within me, and that is one of my missions to inspire people to do right now.
Empowering Tips From Pinky to Women in Business
- “Stay in your own lane” – stop comparing yourself to others.
- Write down all the amazing testimonials you have from clients and put them on the wall where you can look at them and remind yourself that you are the real deal.
Motivational Tips From Elvira to Women in Life
- Embrace your femininity by tracking your menstrual cycle to find out when you need to rest, recover and grow – and when you are the most confident, creative and productive.
- Learn to say no – and yes!
Lots of love,