Stop playing small - Mindset by Pinky

Stop playing small

I am jumping around my seat as I type because I feel passionately about this.  I want to shout from the rooftops.  I want to shout:



Yet sadly, so often we get distracted.  Perhaps it’s fear or the opinion of others that holds us back.  Subconsciously, there is a whole lot going on and as a result, even if we know what to do, our old habits and beliefs that are so deeply programmed within us, can feel impossible to break.  You may have a few weeks of feeling at the top of your game, charged and motivated.  Then slowly but surely, we fall back into our own ways.  A lot of this is down to the stories we tell ourselves.  How often do you wake up and look in the mirror and shout:

I’m wonderful.  I’m strong.  I’m a great person.  I am capable of doing incredible
things.  I deserve happiness.  I’m going to inspire the world.  I could continue but you get my drift.
One of the reasons I ask my guests to sing their favourite song with me at the end of my podcasts is because when we sing like nobody is listening, we are living.  We are lost in the moment.  

Fear, ego, pain and stress is pushed aside and we are free.  

What else makes you feel this way?  When do you come to life?  

We all have that mojo magic in us, it just gets a little lost sometimes.
I write in my book about a choice I made.

I made a choice that I would swim.  I would be the champagne of the party, even when people try to piss all over my picnic.  I would judge less, live more and create the greatest story of my life.
The choice was simple.  I wanted to live large.  I wanted to follow my dreams.  

What do you want?  

Here are some tips if you want to inject a little more mojo into your life.

Clear your mind                                                                                                                                    

To figure out what we really want, not what we think we may want or what others want us to do, we need time to clear our mind.  For me this involves running, swimming outdoors, walking in nature, sitting on the beach or simply being still in prayer or meditation.  Clarity is absolutely key before you can get stuck in.  This involves being fully self-aware.  By this I mean aware of our values, aware of what excites us and feels right.  Aware of our weaknesses and any hurdles that may get in our way.

Set a strong mantra for your goal

I’m the kind of person that gets a mantra tattooed on my arm so I never forget it.  In fact, in 2007 I did.  That mantra was simple, which I had translated into Thai.  

Live with passion. 

What gets you excited?  What do you feel strongly about?  Because without passion we have no energy and to stop playing small, we need energy.

Acceptance of the negative noise.

This noise may come from others, there will always be critics.   More than likely, the main issue comes from the critical thoughts in your mind.  We all have them and when we try to fight them, it can make things worse.  

Stop fighting them.  


Let the thoughts in but know that they are not real.  Know that our minds are imperfect.  We make up stories, we tell ourselves we are not good enough.  The imposter syndrome comes knocking on all of our doors.  I’ve started to have a little laugh to myself when I get these thoughts.  It’s a bit like a fight against good and evil.  The good me, full of creativity, energy, self-compassion and love and the evil, judgemental, negative thoughts that don’t serve me.  

The more I focus on the good stuff, the more of it comes my way.

We will all be rejected at some point.  This rejection can be an incentive to sink or swim.  I much prefer to swim.  Rejection can be a wonderful fuel, especially when we don’t take it personally. Rejection is simply part of the game of life.  It’s normal and it doesn’t define you. Rejection can be a wonderful thing when we choose to push the ego aside.

We all have flaws but we also all have greatness within us. Our flaws add to our beauty. As do the mistakes that we make. Our mistakes can spice up the way we live our life, I love learning. I love self-development. We need to make progress to keep life exciting, or it gets a bit like the buffet cart of a 2 week all inclusive holiday. We take it for granted.

Mix it up
You may thrive off routine. We all need it. But if you do the same exercise every day, your body gets used to it. If you chat about the same stuff, with the same people every day, we start to take our relationships for granted. We live our life on autopilot. Change can feel uncomfortable but it’s good for us. 

Can you commit to a new experience, even once a week?

Why not try a new meditation class, go for a wild swim, walk somewhere new, spend time with fresh faces and fresh voices, listen to some different tunes. When we open our minds to different ways of living, we become more creative.

Stand Tall

I was given a painted stone by one of my podcast guests, the lovely author and Yoga Queen Lindsey Porter. It said stand tall. For one, this was useful as my posture can be shocking. I am prone to slumping over my laptop. Our body language is key. Stand tall and proud like you mean it. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in either. Take a stand to live a life that you love. Take a stand to fight for what you believe in and write the greatest story of your life. Stand tall.

I love the work Pinky is doing.  

She was a hoot on my podcast for mental health week in 2018 and it was wonderful to be invited to give a talk at WiNE – I met so many lovely girls that night.  Pinky has a passion to help people stop playing small.  We all struggle with limiting beliefs and the more open conversations and support we can give each other, the better.  Our mental health is everything.  How you feel is more important than what you have.  Here’s to happiness and spreading love.  We all need it. Find out more here.

Author BioJojo Fraser is a mental health researcher and award-winning author, motivational speaker and podcaster. 

Find her across social media @jojofrasermojo or at

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